Investment on Dreams
Mental paralysis. Sometimes the right words just don’t come in time for the right moment. Deep inside I’d be like, “fuck! Was I some kind of genius, now my thoughts refuse to process how I want it to process”. Writer’s block on lyrics too. It’s like my flesh has gone mutiny against the spirit. Who knows because it seems, the older one gets, the more of a blur the thought process becomes. I found this quote from the conversation Socates had with an elder very enlightening off the book Republic, written by Plato. “For, let me tell you that the more the pleasures of the body fade away, the greater to me are the pleasure and charm of conversation.” The thought of a rich conversation; full of rhythm and tone command, a pendulum of exchanged ideas given understanding, it warms my soul. Yet I wonder, will I grow old and accomplish this. Or is my mind to be in an indigo fog, decimated library shelves full of torn pages and rusted relics. Will I continue to speak nonsense? No calculated thought.
It’s cool to say still, I operate trains for a living. Two factors about that though, one very impressive and the other—ehhh—concerning. I operate through a heavy rail, at times handling a high volume of passengers with controlled speed and finesse. The negative, it’s 26 miles roundtrip of controlled territory requiring the same movements, with a very thorough concentrated focus. Now, exercising the same train movements, speech, and pressure of the alignment, five times a week for the past nearly six months will take a toll on anyone. It’s a respectable living—essential work—yet, there’s a cost.
It’s been challenging juggling between my professional life and hobbies. Occasionally, I strum my acoustic guitar as my heart vibes out. I record a few sounds and tunes, then spend some time rearranging my samples and patterns to produce that perfect—chef’s kiss—eden track. It takes time to manufacture quality content. Sigh. Though as the old adage goes, I have to make time.
Since April, I’ve been investing thousands of dollars in stocks, ironically to make only hundreds. It’s been a healthy and refreshing process though and it’s made me much more financially aware of certain markets. As Warren Buffet said, invest in what you know—I do that. Understanding the surface level of the stock market opens my eyes on how relative, yet how important money is. Especially in a world that is based on networking through content, it navigates the direction money goes. From my labor, the cornerstone of what my capital is, given time, the shares I constantly buy and trade, the fruits of it which is my net value, will grow. More money I am able to control, the accessibility—deciding on how I can spend my time.
I do take my physical condition very seriously. It is so convenient to live in a complex that has an indoor gym and I am extremely grateful to have had that for the past five years now. Working out sucks sometimes, but staying fit is so vital to being productive in almost anything.
Let's hope this phase of paralysis comes to an end. I aim to release more content and write more lyrics for my upcoming album, DREAMERS of EDEN.
