iindependence

Written July 27th, 2018

I want to quickly elicit an idea of what love, hatred, beauty, and suffering looks like. Yes, these nouns are very abstract and lore from person to person. I couldn’t even have the audacity on attempting to crack through the surface of these topics for every individual. GOD intended every mind, a different method. We share ideas with each other, persuading personal ambition for a far brighter, a smoother and more convenient future. Of course, among my associates and constituents, that is what we love; this idea is what beauty resonates. 

Personally, through my lifetime I’ve experienced a great number of these four. Love—an intimate marriage with a beautiful, ambitious woman. Hatred—resentment towards those and myself, who had committed great sins. Beauty—a range from excelling towards materialism to a spellbinding faith of having only GOD at your side. And suffering and pain, the calamities of life. I’ve been divorced for three years now, and I won’t lie to you, it isn’t getting easier. However, when a wolf has so many arrows to the back, eventually the wolf acclimates and the pain evolves. The wolf becomes numb to it. I believe most experience that, through the progression of age. 

Humanity is a weird combination, palpitating culture through the wondrous awes of nature. I’ve seen and been through some weird, awe-dropping sh*t. And I question if I was in some Truman show or GOD, the universe had spun some effects to where it seemed, I can have it my way. Love is as sacrificing to have it your way eventually. Proprietors simply call love an investment. Catholics call it a sacrifice. But imagine your sacrifice, your investment treading no value. That is called suffering. It’s as running on a treadmill; you do your maximum effort and sweat a f-ton… every day for six months. Your goal was to lose 30 pounds—rather you gained that. You just suffered for six months, I guess only to build character, in other words—resentment and hatred.

Now, when you planted a seed a while ago and dedicated numerous amounts of time for it to grow and it does. That’s beauty. 

Being human, is to experience all four dimensions. I have. But it’s scary being numb. It’s exhausting and feels like all leads to suffering. I would lie to you, if I said I never had thoughts of life’s monetary value being equal to suffering.